A New, New Year

Stop Making Resolutions!

How many years’ of resolutions have you broken, didn’t accomplish, failed at completing? Perhaps you promised yourself that you’d lose weight, walk 10,000 steps three times a week, drink less alcohol, or take time to meditate every morning.

PLEASE DON’T BE UPSET OR SAD IF YOU BROKE YOUR RESOLUTION!

I recently read a New York Times research article concluding that 90% of New Year’s resolutions are broken by the end of February of that same year! So why do the majority of us continue to follow that path, year after year, even as we, while making the resolution, know that we’re likely not going to achieve our goals? Maybe making resolutions has become a bad habit, rather than a custom.

Has breaking or forgetting about your New Year’s resolution ever created feelings of shame, perhaps weighed your spirit down, or created negative feelings about yourself?

In my opinion, it’s atrocious that despite striving with all our might to climb what feels like an insurmoutable mountain of change within ourselves, often without support from others, that we end up feeling that we failed, simply because we weren’t able to reach the summit.

It’s time for us all to STOP setting ourselves up for this kind of failure by asserting that this year and in future years, we’ll not climb up that steep mountain. Do you agree that we’d be better served and likely happier if we sat in silence at the base of or foothills of the mountain, gazing at her majestic beauty and power, admiring her steadfastness and silent loving energy. I surely do!

Each of us is capable of deciding that we’ll no longer participate in this New Year’s Eve habit that, like the New York Times’ research has shown, will likely be a vauge memory by February.

I’ve found there are preferable ways for us to create what we want to feel, experience and hope for in the future.

I was recently introduced to the work of Elisabeth McKnight who suggests we create a vision board with words or images depicting what we want for ourselves in the year ahead. If you’re not into vision boards, perhaps you would prefer making a list of words that demonstrates what you would like more of in the New Year. Here are a few examples of words to choose from… then add your own!

Friendship, Faith, Empowerment, Abundance, Expansion, Discipline, Progress, Hope, Humility, Grounding, Peace, Permission, Play, Nourishment, Compassion, Tranquility, Faith, Empowerment, Organize, Passion, Recovery, Release, Gratitude, Challenge, Honesty, Creativity, Daring, Delight, Forgiveness, Intuition, Love

I’m also a fan of gratitude lists and reminders to be grateful; using sticky notes on the fridge or my desk to spark my attention when I’m feeling defeated or stuck, often helps me perk up.

Making a gratitude list also reduces my feelings of anxiety that are often over something that hasn’t even happened yet; it also helps me to sleep better and feel more energized.

There’s always something to be grateful for, right? In any moment, if you’re unable to think of something to feel grateful for, you could simply be grateful for your breathe.

Every New Year’s Eve for the past fifteen years, I’ve felt grateful and relieved that, when the ball drops from One Times Square, I’m not standing in the freezing cold surrounded by the screaming voices from hundreds of thousands’ of merrymakers, and the added blaring sounds of honking horns, and the intrusiveness of thousands of bright flashing lights. Maybe it’s because I’m older, but really?

This New Year’s Eve, maybe you could find an image or have an actual experience of something that brings you joy, love, or feelings of awe. Possibly, you could step outside and look up at the twinkling stars, imagining the abundant life beyond the Earth. If there’s a full moon, her brightness can fill your heart with light, or if you live by the ocean, a trip to the shore may assure you of the mystery, power, and grandeur of water. If none of these options are possible for you this New Year’s Eve, perhaps you could listen to music, read a book you’ve been meaning to pick up for months, or make that gratitude list.

And…celebrate the magic and wonder of how you’ve survived this past year despite difficulties, dilemmas, insecurities, and the terrifying global news while continuing to move forward in loving ways.

And don’t forget to create that vision board or the list of your personal words expressing what you want to experience and feel in the New Year!

As the Earth begins another rotation around the Sun, my wish for you is that you’ll have a year of feeling the warmth of loving yourself!

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